Friday, June 24, 2011

SHATTERED

Your words cut me to shreds
My self-esteem was demolished
Lying at my feet in a pool of red
Shocked into silence I didn't know what to do I cried and fell to my knees
trying to gather the remnants of my shattered self-esteem
It could not be saved
No glue could repair the damage
I retreated
All that ran through my head were your words....
FAT, UGLY , STUPID, WORTHLESS, NO MAN WANTS YOU, YOU'LL BE ALONE FOREVER,
ALL YOU'RE GOOD FOR IS SEX, NO MAN WANTS TO BE SEEN WITH A FAT PIG LIKE YOU...
These words were on repeat in my brain
So many tears fell
Red brimmed eyes
Nose raw from tissues
Lips swollen from the salt of my tears
All I could do was stand there holding what remained of my self-esteem
I honestly asked God to stop me from breathing because the pain was to
great to bear
Thankfully God listens but He doesn't always give us what we ask
I continued to breathe
Numbly going through my life
I had checked out of this world
You had all but killed me
Everyday I stared at the pieces of my self-esteem on the ground
One day I picked up a piece and I held it close to my heart
Everyday I picked up a piece until my self-esteem was put back together
Fragile but whole
Gaining strentgh everyday

FOR A MOMENT

For a momenet
Did the scent of jasmine and honeysuckle
fill your senses
And you could not find the source

For a moment
Did you see a brilliance of colors and patterns
overtake your world of solids and neutrals
And you were confused

For a moment
Did you feel a hand intertwine with yours
And looked down to find your hand empty

For a moment
As you looked out the window
Did you feel two arms wrap around you
and a head placed on your shoulder
And you leaned back into the embrace only
to realize you were alone

For a moment
As you sat from a stressful day with your eyes closed
Did you feel someone massage away your tension
And you opened your eyes to find the room empty

For a moment
As you were sleeping
Did you feel a light kiss on your lips
that awakened you
And you discovered you were in bed alone

For a moment
Did you hear someone whisper
"I love you"
And your heart melted and ached because
no one was there

For a moment
My essence imprinted on your memory and soul
So that when you find me
You know