Thursday, November 1, 2012

THINK YOU KNOW ME

You think you know me.
One look at my skin and you instantly
      label me.
The texture of my hair confirms your beliefs
.....so you think.
Not once have you attempted to hear my voice.
In your mind I'm just a stereotype.
Loud, obnoxious, neck rolling angry and dangerous.
That's who you think I am.

If you took a moment to open your eyes, free your
    mind and listen,
Then and only then would you begin to know me.
For you see I am more than the color of my skin.
And quite frankly the texture of my hair doesn't even
    begin to unravel who I am.
The only belief you have correct is dangerous.

Dangerous without a doubt because I know who I am.
I stand proud, strong and humbled on the shoulders and
    backs of those who have paved my way.
Knowing that my voice and intellect gives me power.
I will never be your stereotype.
Never will I live down to your expectations.
If you want to know who I am, dare to raise yourself
    up to my expectations.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

GRACE AND OSIRIS (featuring Jerald Murphy) PART 2

Osiris

We sit at the table and I drink of her presence. The effect that the light has on her skin as it filters in through the window. The first thing that I do is properly introduce myself "Hi Grace my name is Osiris.
I extend my hand and she takes it in hers as we shake and I am reluctant to let it go, she lets her hand linger in mine and I feel as if static electricity flows from her to me.
I look into her big brown eyes and we start to talk.
It feels as if this is routine and I like that.
She asks me what I do and I tell her that I have my own online business as a ticket broker.
She asks me what that is and I explain that in the old days we were called scalpers and now since we do it over the Internet we have decided to change our name.
She laughs at that and her laugh seems to sink into the fibers of my being.
As we talk I realize that I really would like to spend a lot more time with this queen. There are so many things that I would like to show her.
One thing about traveling the way that I do is that you find so many beautiful things that you want to share with someone.
The problem is that I have been alone for some years now and all these beautiful things that I have seen I have seen alone.
I have long wondered if there is such a thing as love at first sight and I must admit to myself that if there is this is it.
As she talks I find myself hanging on her words. they seem so solid.

Grace

I already knew his name was Osiris. The Egyptian god of the afterlife. In my mind I always called him Sir O. It was just finally refreshing to be able to sit and have a conversation with him. I was relived to be able to look at him freely no longer with the fear of being detected.
When he shakes my hand a current shoots through my body. My hand in his feels natural. Sitting with him at the table in the corner feels natural. As we sit and talk it feels like we have always done this.
I ask him what he does and I love when he says he has his own business as on online ticket broker. I laugh because his eyes sparkle with a touch of mischief when he tells me this. He asks what I do and I let him know that I am on a year long sabbatical from work. Only because I am burnt-out and a tired of retail.
As we spend this little time together I make a wish that I have more time to get to know him. He speaks to that part of me that has been hidden away for so long. In his presence I am given an idea of what it feels like to be a queen sitting with a king.
I know he's a writer because Therese has shown me his work. I knew his words before I knew him. Shyly, I ask him to tell me about his writing. He smiles. I swear time stood still. Not looking at him I recite one of my favorite lines from his work "Deep dark chocolate and sensual brown eyes....I adrift in the megaverse.... multiplistically if I may start a discourse of the complexity of thine influence on the artistic in me." When I look up I see him. The honorable king I would gladly submit my time.


TO BE CONTINUED....

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

GRACE AND OSIRIS (featuring Jerald Murphy)

Osiris
I walk into the coffee shop and order my morning regular, a bottle of Motts and a scone.
The girl behind the counter and I joke around as she moves around behind the counter getting my drink and my scone.
She asks me what I am doing today and I tell her the same thing I say everyday. 
"I am going to write a masterpiece." she laughs as she hands me my change and says "I believe you, I really dig the stuff you write."
I go to the spot where I sit almost every morning that I come here. It is in the corner and I can see the door and look out the window as the people pass by. I have a thing about doors. I never sit with my back to them.
I see the man who passes by here everyday as he walks his daughter to school. They hold hands and she looks up at him. I can see the admiration as they talk to each other.
The wino across the street leans against the wall and looks around. This is the spot that he comes to every day rain or shine and today he carries an umbrella.
Always prepared, and I smile to my self at this thought.
The bell rings over the door and I see her as she walks in in all her thickness. This is what I have been waiting on this morning and I walk to the counter and proceed to introduce myself.
"Excuse me ma'am."
She looks my way and I am taken aback by her eyes. It feels as if she has forged a link with my soul.
I proceed.
"Do you mind if I ask your name?" she says not at all and she tells me her name is Grace and it sounds so good coming from her lips that I repeat it back to her.
She smiles at this and I am almost swept off of my feet at how beautiful her smile is.
I ask her if she is in a rush and she says "I have a little time."
The girl behind the counter gives me a wink and I smile a little bit. 
She had already told me Grace's name and that she was single.
We sit at the table where I was when she walked in and start to talk.

Grace
Everyday I go to the coffee shop. It's my morning ritual. As I walk I run into Jay as he walks Jazmine to school. He's a single father who's doing the right thing and his little girl knows she is loved. I wave to Mr. Neal, the local wino. He has suffered so much with the loss of his job and the death of his wife. He's just trying to survive. I continue to walk and come to the coffee shop. 
As I reach for the door I notice my palms are sweaty and my heart just skipped a beat. I smile to myself as I see him at the corner table with his bottle of Mott"s and a scone. He never smiles. He always looks so mean, but I know it's just a facade. He is the real reason I come here everyday.
I smile at Sarah as I reach the counter. She has my caramel coffee and my muffin ready and waiting for me. I feel his presence as he stands at the counter. My mind races. I'm not searching for something clever to say. but I'm becoming intoxicated by the beauty of his essence.
I am so taken with his smooth, chocolate complexion. I just want to reach out and stroke his cheek. I get lost in his dark brown eyes that tell his tale of troubles, yet exude so much kindness and compassion. And his voice speaks to my soul and melts away any hardness that it encounters. In my old-fashioned way this is the man I want to keep company with and have court me.
Oh my! He just asked me a question. I must focus. he wants to know my name. Smiling I say "My name is Grace." Now he wants to know if I'm in a rush. Little does he know I have all the time in the world for him. I just answer "I have a little time."
I sit with him at the corner table and for the first time I see his smile. I have to catch my breath because it is absolutely beautiful. It is my best moment of the day.... coffee, a smile and sitting at the corner table with Osiris.

TO BE CONTINUED..........


Sunday, August 12, 2012

EFF IT!

Fuck that shit!
I've had it!
So many times I've tried to reach you
 only to have you turn your back on me.
Telling me I have a negative attitude
 because I dare to speak the truth.
Walking all high and mighty as you
 climb the stairs to your throne.
Sitting there looking down on us peons.
Fuck that shit!
Yes my dear, I said it.
I know you...really know you.
The secrets you hold inside.
The dirt you've done.
You and your inner circle plotting and planning.
Keeping a separation of "us" and "them".
Pulling the blinders down on their eyes so  that 
 they don't see the reality around them.
Silencing those who have dared to look beyond
 the imposed blinders.
Ostracizing those who know your truth.
Fuck that shit!
I see you...eye really see you.
Don't be surprised because I know your truth.
Speaking out both sides of your mouth.
Promoting peace yet creating chaos.
Insisting on truth, but unable to handle it.
Fuck that shit!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

SO IT'S ABOUT HER HAIR...REALLY?


   So I'm basking in the joy of Gabby's accomplishments, feeling at this moment that she is my own.
I am so happy and proud of her. Sixteen with two gold medals. The first African American female to win the all-around. There are no words to describe how great an accomplishment this is for any person. Then I see a friend's message on Facebook blasting some unknown entity for belittling her success by focusing on something so trivial as her hair.
     I was clueless so I went to investigate. 'Lo and behold, people were talking about her edges and her "kitchen"-the hair at the nape of the neck. I was in the throes of a series of "WTF" moments. Each article and negative statement had me seeing red. The people that were commenting negatively, for the most part, were African American women. They were concerned about her hair! Give me an effing break and get your priorities straight.
     Instead of putting her down because of her hair you should be raising her up because of her dedication. Instead of putting her down because of her hair you should be raising her up because of her determination. Instead of putting her down because of her hair you should be raising her up because of her talent. Why must African American women continually down each other?
     When I saw her compete I had a huge smile on my face. I saw a beautiful young lady who was going after her dream. She had the courage to fight for what she wanted. Sacrificing family time, time with friends and a sense of normalcy to achieve a dream, Win or lose she was poised in competition as millions watched her, yet all some petty folk could see was her hair.
     What they missed was a golden opportunity to let others know that they could accomplish anything by remaining focused and surrounding yourself with a great support system. What they missed was the opportunity to let our young women know to carry themselves dignity and respect because they are future queens. What they missed  was the opportunity to let the queen in them shine through by dropping praise on an awesome young woman.
     So I ask those so concerned with her edges and kitchen---how many gold medals have you won today? Are your edges and kitchens perfect? What dreams are you working on to make them become a reality? And since you have time for trivialities concerning hairstyles I know your lives are in order. If not, then STFU! Support those who have the courage to dream and pursue their dream. Stop the negativity because it's unnecessary and unattractive.
     All I have to say is: Gabby do your thing! I'm so proud of you Baby Girl!!

Monday, July 30, 2012

YOU SET ME UP



I fell for you and that was my mistake.
My heart said stay and my head said walk away.
The wrong choice was made because I thought
 we could be friends.
It's impossible because quite frankly I have so many
 feelings for you that I have no more feelings.
I wish I could hate you, but that's not in my nature.
I can't love you because you are someone else's.
I don't have the strength to delete you,
But something must be done because the mere
 mention of her name makes me ill.
Looking back I realized I was set up.
You wove a web of words like a spider,
 waiting to catch your prey.
I got caught and you laughed at my being tricked
 so easily.
So I make the decision now to cut all ties.
If I can't be your first choice I refuse to be
 the pathetic woman waiting in the wings.
Save your words for your next prey.
Use your words to lull her into a sense of adoration
 before you cut her heart out with your pen.
As for me, I'm taking my heart and leaving your
 web of words.
And trust and believe me....I'm not coming back.
Keep your lies about missing me to yourself.
I'M FINISHED!

Saturday, July 28, 2012

B.G.F.L.


I'm a B.G.F.L.
Big Girl for Life.
For the record I'm healthy, vivacious and brilliant.
I have a few more curves than most and damn proud of it.
I earned my B.G.F.L .card not because of my size, but because of my attitude.
I walk in the ranks of some amazing women.
When people said I couldn't I laughed and did it.
When I was told I shouldn't I smiled and rocked it.
When I was told to tone it down I winked and turned it up full blast.
I'm confident in who I am and where I'm going.
I got my own style and my own way.
I am a B.G.F.L.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

AWAKE







My long sleep has ended.
The pain of rejection knocked me on my ass,
But it's big enough to withstand the fall and give
 me lots of cushion.
I know you're shocked to see me back on my feet.
You thought that final blow took me out.
I saw you celebrating as I floated in my self-pity.
You and your...what's the word..?
Oh yeah....flunkies... were so happy about my demise.
You forgot never count me out.
Always watching you and your bitchassness wrecking
 havoc in lives.
Slowly  self-pity turned into determination.
Truth be known I needed that little break.
But baby I'm back!
Now whatchu gon do?
There's enough arrogance in my bones to laugh at you
 as I rise to the top.
Down, but never out just growing stronger.
I'm back with attitude.
Gone is the shyness and the desire to stay in the shadows.
Banished to the dungeons is fear and doubt.
Finally taking center stage with lots of sass and class.
Walking with an extra sway in my bodacious hips.
Standing tall with my shoulders back and my head held high.
Daring to laugh because I'm ready to take you on.
And rumor has it I'm not going to lose.
So whatchu gon do?