Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Shit Just Got Real Pt.II

You constantly cry that you're being abused
Scared to go home because of the verbal and
 physical punches
Mentally and physically drained you ask for help
Plans are made for your escape from pain and
 entrance to a new freedom
Everything and everyone is in place to help
 you survive
Waiting and waiting you never show
Finally you call saying you're staying
Disbelief surrounds your would be freedom
 fighters
Shaking their heads they disperse
Battered and bruised you again ask
 for help
Incredulous stares are aimed at you
They answer no because they can't help you
 until you're willing to help yourself be free
Shit just got real

Looking around you see your own striving
 to succeed
Jokes and disparaging comments spew
 from your mouth
Everyday you block the path to greener
 pastures
And everyday they find a way around your
 blockade
You and your crew thinking intimidation
 will keep them down
Yet they and their dreams use your weapons
 to spur them on
They're supposed to succumb to your taunts
 and aggressions and you wonder why you fail
The question is asked
 Why do you keep trying
The answer is given
 We honor our destiny and not your fears
Shit just got real

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Shit Just Got Real: Part I




In a moment of reflection
 reality hit me up side the head
Looking at myself I saw a stranger
 I don't even know who I am
Constantly being a puppet on a string
 passed around seeking approval
All the while never giving approval
 to myself
Shit just got real

Slowly being killed by the pains
The pain of rejection
The pain of illness
The pain of loneliness
The pain of poverty
The pain of unacceptance
The pain of struggle
If I give in to the pains I'll be gone
Shit just got real

Lord knows I'm tired
My body is weak and my mind
 is struggling to keep me moving
Negativity is trying to gain control
 and the fight is slowly leaving me
Shit is getting real

Everything is weighing me down
I see the dreams and goals in
 the distance
All I need is the strength to
 keep going
The desire to give up and let
 the dark abyss swallow me whole
 is so strong and tempting
It would be so easy  to give up
 and give in
Shit just got real

Sunday, February 10, 2013

THE QUEEN BEE CRIED

She sat on her throne and looked at her King.
Tears in her eyes, she shook her head and
 said "I don't understand".
He looked puzzled and held her hands.
Before words could escape his lips she bent
 her head and cried.
All she could repeat was "Why?"
With a gentle hand he lifted her chin,
 staring into tear glistened eyes.
Quietly he asked his Queen to talk to him.
With there fingers entwined she shared her pain.

Taking a deep breath she told her love who
 caused her tears to spill from her eyes.
The Queen Bee told of the hurt her heart
 has endured as she watched her daughters
 through the centuries.
She cried for their struggles for freedom.
In chains, physically and mentally,
 yet strong and patient enough to break what
 bound them.
She cried for their fight for equality.
Beaten and denied what was rightfully theirs,
 yet strong and patient enough to chip away
at the inequality to bring balance.
She cried for their desire to be seen as
 perfection in their own skin and accepted
 by themselves and others.
Yet, too many don't see their beauty.

My daughters are tearing each other down.
Separation by skin hue, hair texture, speech
 pattern, body shape and other pettiness.
Calling each other hoes, tricks and bitches.
This is not why so many of my babies died.
They died so that they may be free and unified.
They died so that the world would see the
 future queens as not less than, but  more than.
Now I wonder if they died in vain.
Don't they realize that the "b" means beautiful,
 brilliant and blessed?
My little queens need to change because
 if they don't they will never be truly free
 and able to reign on their thrones.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

THINK YOU KNOW ME

You think you know me.
One look at my skin and you instantly
      label me.
The texture of my hair confirms your beliefs
.....so you think.
Not once have you attempted to hear my voice.
In your mind I'm just a stereotype.
Loud, obnoxious, neck rolling angry and dangerous.
That's who you think I am.

If you took a moment to open your eyes, free your
    mind and listen,
Then and only then would you begin to know me.
For you see I am more than the color of my skin.
And quite frankly the texture of my hair doesn't even
    begin to unravel who I am.
The only belief you have correct is dangerous.

Dangerous without a doubt because I know who I am.
I stand proud, strong and humbled on the shoulders and
    backs of those who have paved my way.
Knowing that my voice and intellect gives me power.
I will never be your stereotype.
Never will I live down to your expectations.
If you want to know who I am, dare to raise yourself
    up to my expectations.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

GRACE AND OSIRIS (featuring Jerald Murphy) PART 2

Osiris

We sit at the table and I drink of her presence. The effect that the light has on her skin as it filters in through the window. The first thing that I do is properly introduce myself "Hi Grace my name is Osiris.
I extend my hand and she takes it in hers as we shake and I am reluctant to let it go, she lets her hand linger in mine and I feel as if static electricity flows from her to me.
I look into her big brown eyes and we start to talk.
It feels as if this is routine and I like that.
She asks me what I do and I tell her that I have my own online business as a ticket broker.
She asks me what that is and I explain that in the old days we were called scalpers and now since we do it over the Internet we have decided to change our name.
She laughs at that and her laugh seems to sink into the fibers of my being.
As we talk I realize that I really would like to spend a lot more time with this queen. There are so many things that I would like to show her.
One thing about traveling the way that I do is that you find so many beautiful things that you want to share with someone.
The problem is that I have been alone for some years now and all these beautiful things that I have seen I have seen alone.
I have long wondered if there is such a thing as love at first sight and I must admit to myself that if there is this is it.
As she talks I find myself hanging on her words. they seem so solid.

Grace

I already knew his name was Osiris. The Egyptian god of the afterlife. In my mind I always called him Sir O. It was just finally refreshing to be able to sit and have a conversation with him. I was relived to be able to look at him freely no longer with the fear of being detected.
When he shakes my hand a current shoots through my body. My hand in his feels natural. Sitting with him at the table in the corner feels natural. As we sit and talk it feels like we have always done this.
I ask him what he does and I love when he says he has his own business as on online ticket broker. I laugh because his eyes sparkle with a touch of mischief when he tells me this. He asks what I do and I let him know that I am on a year long sabbatical from work. Only because I am burnt-out and a tired of retail.
As we spend this little time together I make a wish that I have more time to get to know him. He speaks to that part of me that has been hidden away for so long. In his presence I am given an idea of what it feels like to be a queen sitting with a king.
I know he's a writer because Therese has shown me his work. I knew his words before I knew him. Shyly, I ask him to tell me about his writing. He smiles. I swear time stood still. Not looking at him I recite one of my favorite lines from his work "Deep dark chocolate and sensual brown eyes....I adrift in the megaverse.... multiplistically if I may start a discourse of the complexity of thine influence on the artistic in me." When I look up I see him. The honorable king I would gladly submit my time.


TO BE CONTINUED....

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

GRACE AND OSIRIS (featuring Jerald Murphy)

Osiris
I walk into the coffee shop and order my morning regular, a bottle of Motts and a scone.
The girl behind the counter and I joke around as she moves around behind the counter getting my drink and my scone.
She asks me what I am doing today and I tell her the same thing I say everyday. 
"I am going to write a masterpiece." she laughs as she hands me my change and says "I believe you, I really dig the stuff you write."
I go to the spot where I sit almost every morning that I come here. It is in the corner and I can see the door and look out the window as the people pass by. I have a thing about doors. I never sit with my back to them.
I see the man who passes by here everyday as he walks his daughter to school. They hold hands and she looks up at him. I can see the admiration as they talk to each other.
The wino across the street leans against the wall and looks around. This is the spot that he comes to every day rain or shine and today he carries an umbrella.
Always prepared, and I smile to my self at this thought.
The bell rings over the door and I see her as she walks in in all her thickness. This is what I have been waiting on this morning and I walk to the counter and proceed to introduce myself.
"Excuse me ma'am."
She looks my way and I am taken aback by her eyes. It feels as if she has forged a link with my soul.
I proceed.
"Do you mind if I ask your name?" she says not at all and she tells me her name is Grace and it sounds so good coming from her lips that I repeat it back to her.
She smiles at this and I am almost swept off of my feet at how beautiful her smile is.
I ask her if she is in a rush and she says "I have a little time."
The girl behind the counter gives me a wink and I smile a little bit. 
She had already told me Grace's name and that she was single.
We sit at the table where I was when she walked in and start to talk.

Grace
Everyday I go to the coffee shop. It's my morning ritual. As I walk I run into Jay as he walks Jazmine to school. He's a single father who's doing the right thing and his little girl knows she is loved. I wave to Mr. Neal, the local wino. He has suffered so much with the loss of his job and the death of his wife. He's just trying to survive. I continue to walk and come to the coffee shop. 
As I reach for the door I notice my palms are sweaty and my heart just skipped a beat. I smile to myself as I see him at the corner table with his bottle of Mott"s and a scone. He never smiles. He always looks so mean, but I know it's just a facade. He is the real reason I come here everyday.
I smile at Sarah as I reach the counter. She has my caramel coffee and my muffin ready and waiting for me. I feel his presence as he stands at the counter. My mind races. I'm not searching for something clever to say. but I'm becoming intoxicated by the beauty of his essence.
I am so taken with his smooth, chocolate complexion. I just want to reach out and stroke his cheek. I get lost in his dark brown eyes that tell his tale of troubles, yet exude so much kindness and compassion. And his voice speaks to my soul and melts away any hardness that it encounters. In my old-fashioned way this is the man I want to keep company with and have court me.
Oh my! He just asked me a question. I must focus. he wants to know my name. Smiling I say "My name is Grace." Now he wants to know if I'm in a rush. Little does he know I have all the time in the world for him. I just answer "I have a little time."
I sit with him at the corner table and for the first time I see his smile. I have to catch my breath because it is absolutely beautiful. It is my best moment of the day.... coffee, a smile and sitting at the corner table with Osiris.

TO BE CONTINUED..........


Sunday, August 12, 2012

EFF IT!

Fuck that shit!
I've had it!
So many times I've tried to reach you
 only to have you turn your back on me.
Telling me I have a negative attitude
 because I dare to speak the truth.
Walking all high and mighty as you
 climb the stairs to your throne.
Sitting there looking down on us peons.
Fuck that shit!
Yes my dear, I said it.
I know you...really know you.
The secrets you hold inside.
The dirt you've done.
You and your inner circle plotting and planning.
Keeping a separation of "us" and "them".
Pulling the blinders down on their eyes so  that 
 they don't see the reality around them.
Silencing those who have dared to look beyond
 the imposed blinders.
Ostracizing those who know your truth.
Fuck that shit!
I see you...eye really see you.
Don't be surprised because I know your truth.
Speaking out both sides of your mouth.
Promoting peace yet creating chaos.
Insisting on truth, but unable to handle it.
Fuck that shit!