Thursday, September 29, 2011

BREAK THE DAMN CHAINS!


BREAK THE DAMN CHAINS!
How many more must die before we open our eyes and really see what is happening to us?
We are an endangered people and only a few care.
Imprisoned by the drugs created to subdue us into a complacent haze.
Imprisoned by a welfare system that was founded under the guise to be a helping hand,
Only to have the disguise torn away to see the truth of it being a hand holding us down.
Imprisoned by a society that pits us against each other as they sit back and wait for us to annihilate our own.
Dissuaded by those in power not to seek knowledge and to remain puppets in their show.
BREAK THE DAMN CHAINS!
Open your fucking eyes and realize we will never get justice until
just-us start fighting for it.
Stop selling the toxins that kill us. You're only making a paltry fee to execute your kin.
Stop selling your body to those who don't give a damn about you,yet infect you with deadly poisons that riddle your body with death filled bombs.
Stop getting impregnated to have babies born into modern day slavery to be used by the welfare system as part of the downfall and not the uplifting.
BREAK THE DAMN CHAINS!
This is not what our ancestors fought for and lost their lives.
Stop being complacent and living in fear.
Educate yourself and embrace knowledge.
Realize your power is in your knowledge.
Change happens with blood, sweat, tears and knowledge.
Teach the babies freedom isn't free and to always be vigilant and on guard for injustice against just-us.
Lift your head up and see the power you possess.
Look around and see your brothers and sisters in chains.
Break your chains and help them break their chains.
We must stop being a pawn in society's systematic elimination of us.
The time has come for us to band together as a cohesive unit standing tall, dignified, equal and strong.
If one of us dies, then we all die.
Take back your freedom.
BREAK THE DAMN CHAINS!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

2.5 INCHES EQUALS 912.5 DAYS

What if I said two and a half inches of hair is equivalent
to nine hundred twelve and a half days
What if I said my eyes are opened and I see you....
the real you
What if I said I know why you took such pleasure in
hitting me with your verbal assaults
What if I said I know why you tried to break me
What if I said I know you are a scared and scarred little
boy trapped in the body of a grown man

What if I said two and a half inches of hair is equivalent
to nine hundred twelve and a half days
What if I said that cutting off two and half inches of hair
freed me from the debilitating hold you had over me
What if I said with each snip the scissors made was like
the key turningin the lock of the cage I allowes you to
imprison me in
What if I said with each snip of the scissors I reclaimed the
essence of who I am... who I truly am
What if I said with each snip of the scissors I got stronger
and gained confidence
What if I said with each snip of the scissors I saw the beauty
I possessed
What if I said with each snip of the scissors I felt a calm of
peace and self acceptance wash over me
What if I said with each snip of the scissors I forgave you

Friday, June 24, 2011

SHATTERED

Your words cut me to shreds
My self-esteem was demolished
Lying at my feet in a pool of red
Shocked into silence I didn't know what to do I cried and fell to my knees
trying to gather the remnants of my shattered self-esteem
It could not be saved
No glue could repair the damage
I retreated
All that ran through my head were your words....
FAT, UGLY , STUPID, WORTHLESS, NO MAN WANTS YOU, YOU'LL BE ALONE FOREVER,
ALL YOU'RE GOOD FOR IS SEX, NO MAN WANTS TO BE SEEN WITH A FAT PIG LIKE YOU...
These words were on repeat in my brain
So many tears fell
Red brimmed eyes
Nose raw from tissues
Lips swollen from the salt of my tears
All I could do was stand there holding what remained of my self-esteem
I honestly asked God to stop me from breathing because the pain was to
great to bear
Thankfully God listens but He doesn't always give us what we ask
I continued to breathe
Numbly going through my life
I had checked out of this world
You had all but killed me
Everyday I stared at the pieces of my self-esteem on the ground
One day I picked up a piece and I held it close to my heart
Everyday I picked up a piece until my self-esteem was put back together
Fragile but whole
Gaining strentgh everyday

FOR A MOMENT

For a momenet
Did the scent of jasmine and honeysuckle
fill your senses
And you could not find the source

For a moment
Did you see a brilliance of colors and patterns
overtake your world of solids and neutrals
And you were confused

For a moment
Did you feel a hand intertwine with yours
And looked down to find your hand empty

For a moment
As you looked out the window
Did you feel two arms wrap around you
and a head placed on your shoulder
And you leaned back into the embrace only
to realize you were alone

For a moment
As you sat from a stressful day with your eyes closed
Did you feel someone massage away your tension
And you opened your eyes to find the room empty

For a moment
As you were sleeping
Did you feel a light kiss on your lips
that awakened you
And you discovered you were in bed alone

For a moment
Did you hear someone whisper
"I love you"
And your heart melted and ached because
no one was there

For a moment
My essence imprinted on your memory and soul
So that when you find me
You know

Friday, June 17, 2011

AND STILL I RISE

You have put me down with your negativity
Your words and actions have weighed heavily on my spirit
I became so bogged down that each day it was tortuous to move
My light dimmed and my spirit became weak
I just fell down face first onto the ground
Eyes closed
In the distance I heard you laugh
You told your minions "She is down She will not rise Victory is mine!"
I lay on the ground face down and I prayed "God give me the courage to turn over"
He heard my prayer
I turned over to my back
I felt the light on my face
In the distance you still laughed
Your laughter made me open my eyes
Your laughter taunted me
Your laughter annoyed me because you claimed victory too early
It started as a thought in my head that I could not voice because I was weak
That thought became my mantra "And still I rise"
My eyes opened
My spirit was battered and bruised
My body ached from the fight
I was tired and worn out from the battle
I so wanted to quit
Then I heard your laughter again
It annoyed me
I repeated my mantra "And still I rise"
I lay there and looked up
I smiled
The darkness you sent to dim my shine was going away
My spirit was bathed in the waters of unconditional love and infinite hope

I now whisper "And still I rise"
My strength has returned
My light is shining bright
I now shout "And still I rise"
I am like a phoenix rising out of the flames
You thought you had defeated me
You thought you had dimmed my shine
You thought it was over
Well you were WRONG
I burst through the flames of despair hopelessness hate and jealousy
I rise out of the fire

You have put me down
You have ridiculed me
You have made me the butt of your jokes
And still I rise
You have spread rumors
You have lied
You have stolen
And still I rise
You have taken what was mine
You have turned others against me
You have isolated me
And still I rise
You have put obstacles in my path
You have tripped me
You have stabbed me in the back
And still I rise
You have told me what I can't do
You have told me I would fail
You have told me I was a fool
And still I rise

I rise because I know who I am
I rise because I know my worth
I rise because I know I am loved
I rise because ssuccess is my destiny
I rise because it annoys you
Most importantly I rise because its God's will
My shine is bright
My spirit is light
Because still I rise

Saturday, June 11, 2011

CLOSED

My heart is closed until further notice. I am so tired of you not seeing ME. All you see is my weight, color of my skin, and hair. I'm too heavy for you? I can fix that ... BYE. My skin isn't dark enough or too dark for you? I can fix that ... BYE. My hair is too curly, too straight, too natural, too long, too short or the wrong... color? I can fix that ... BYE. I love my black brothers with all my heart, but you have done me a disservice. I will fight to the death for you, but you won't do the same for me. How sad. I will no longer give you access to my heart or anything else until you take your blinders off and truly see me. ....CLOSED

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

FORBIDDEN TO LOVE YOU

I have roamed the Earth for centuries looking for you
Your scent feels my senses
The vision of your face is etched in my mind
My skin still remembers your caresses
Lovers so long ago
Yet you don't remember me

A love so timeless yet never the right time
I have travelled across deserts, over oceans, through forests....
I have braved the elements to get to you
I have moved mountains and people just to be in your presence
I have died to protect you
Yet you don't remember me

No matter the time or place
I always find you
Drawn to you because you are my soul .... mate
Waiting for you to recognize me so that I can be freed from the prison of lonliness
Yearning for the kiss that breathes renewed life into this tired body
Aching for the touch that ignites me with passion and inflames my skin with heat
Seeking the look of recognition in your eyes
Yet you don't remember me

My journey continues
Tears fall as I roam the Earth
Knowing that one day soon you will recognize me

Sunday, June 5, 2011

POOF

I am so tired of your superficiality
What you accuse me of being is what you actually are
The grand statement of beauty is in the eye of the beholder is bullshit
"Baby I want to get to know the real you"
"You're beautiful inside and out"
"I want you to be my wifey"
LIES
You said this thinking I would just be so enamoured and poof ... the panties would drop
Guess you were wrong

You say I have a long list of requirements
And I think I deserve everything
And I have very little to offer
Women like me should just settle for what we can get
Hmmm.... this you say thinking I will fold and poof ... the panties would drop
You were wrong.... again

In your mind you're a great catch
You're offering me the chance of a lifetime
Many women want to be with you
But you're offering "all of this" to me
"Woman you better get me while the getting is good'
"This is your last chance"
I have to laugh because I know you say this hoping to reach my desperation and poof ... the panties would drop
Wrong

Ponder what you said
As you watch my ass walk out the door
Sweetie your loss not mine
Now I wonder whose desperation is showing
Click

Saturday, June 4, 2011

QUEEN

I am a Queen
Magnificence
I am not your hoe, dime piece, side chick, bitch or whatever word of degradation you decide to use
I have no time or tolerance for this foolishness
I am tired of little boys masquerading as grown men
So get ta steppin

Only a true King can recognize my true beauty and worth
Only he sees my heart, my mind,my spirit
Only he is allowed into my realm
Only he knows my secrets and dreams
Only he has my love

I am not a snob
I just know who I am
I am descended from Queens and Kings
I will not settle for less than what is my right
I am a Queen
Magnificence

Saturday, May 28, 2011

COOL


I'm not beautiful.
I'm cool with that.
I'm not skinny.
I'm cool with that.
I'm not tall.
I'm cool with that.
Not everyone supports my dreams.
I'm cool with that.
Not everyone shares my vision.
I'm cool with that.
I'm about to kick down the door of success and walk in like I own the place.
I'm cool with that.
I'm gonna leave the haters and naysayers behind.
Are YOU cool with that?
~ruthsbaby

THIS IS WHY I MUST SET YOU FREE...TO BE

Sometimes I sit and stare at you
I know you're a good man and perfect for me
No matter how hard I try I cannot get you to open your eyes
To see that I am perfect for you
Tonight as you sleep
I gently touch your face
Amazed at what a beautiful man you are inside and out
Tears fill my eyes and threaten to spill
Because you will never be mine
In this quietness I hear your heart beat out a rhythm
My heart responds
You'll never know because you won't allow yourself to love me
I have tried to erase that pain inflicted by another
Only to succeed in hurting myself
My tears spill in sorrow for what will never be
I will never hold our child with your brown eyes
I will never hold and protect you through the storm
I will never grow old with you
The rhythm of my heart will continue to beat alone
Tonight as you sleep I say my final goodbye
Finally I realize I must let you go so that
You are free
I am free
To be
~ruthsbaby

Thursday, May 26, 2011

WHO I AM

I am invisible
The hue of my skin is what you see
The size of my body is what is viewed
No matter how softly or loudly I speak I am not heard
Often underestimated and taken for granted and expected to accept this
Constantly expected to be the "good girl" and never make waves
The cheerleader but rarely cheered
The listener, the comforter, the nurturer
This is how I am seen
Yet unseen

I am vibrant and funny
I cry at commercials and sappy songs
I defend my family and friends like a lioness protects her cubs
I am intelligent and a visionary
I love with every fiber of my being
I am Proverbs 31 Woman
I am phenomenal
THIS IS WHO I AM

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

WRITES MOUNTAIN

Mmmmmm.....Writes Mountain
Sounds omnious
Have I been and what did I see
I've been invited but haven't taken the climb
I stand at the base gazing up with trepidation and awe
The climb must be made that I know
It's such an arduous journey
I must prepare my mind and body

Fear does not stop me
I wonder am I good enough
Can I honestly sit at the table at the top of the mountain with those I have come to admire
Do I have the words that will grant me access to a seat at the table
Will my words touch their hearts and minds

Words race through my mind
Questions crowd the corners of my brain
Stay at the base or climb
Climb or stay at the base
The base offers security
The climb offers uncertainty

Security is over rated
So I climb
I reach the top
Writes Mountain
I am greeted with love, support and inspiration
I am led to the writers table
I see my chair--comfy cozy and made for me
I sit in my chair
I open my journal and see a note
"WE ALL HAVE A DECISION OF STAY AT THE BASE OR CLIMB TO THE TOP....WELCOME HOME"
~ruthsbaby

Monday, May 16, 2011

SHINE

You can't stop my shine
      You can't stop my shine
You can't stop my shine

Negativity has surrounded me
Beating me down
Depleting my energy

Doubt has entered my mind
Immobilizing me
Diminishing my power

Words have wounded me
Causing my body to bleed
My life force seeping out

I have cried
Hidden myself from the world
Becoming invisible

I have swam in that sea of negativity
Gasping for breath
Aiming for the shore

I have slept in the bed of doubt
Tossing and turning
Seeking rest and peace

I have stood unshielded from the words
Body and spirit bruised
Wanting acceptance

Finally I had enough
I looked in the mirror
I saw myself
I accepted myself
Shining

You can't stop my shine
     You can't stop my shine
You can't stop my shine

~ruthsbaby

Monday, April 4, 2011

sad



My soul is in pain
It is unable to smile or laugh
The colors that now surround are shades of gray
So great is the pain that tears cannot flow
Even as I go about my day to day life it is curled up in the fetal position

It has tried so hard to break free but the pain is crippling
The walls around it are so high yet transparent
I'm on the inside looking out
No one sees me
No one hears me
I have given so much away that I have nothing left

I am depleted I am lost and no one is searching for me

~ruthsbaby

Monday, February 28, 2011

I WANT TO WRITE

It is not a want it is a need
Words are coursing through my veins
Waiting to bleed out through my fingertips
Ready to stain the paper with power knowledge and love
Its an insatiable need to tell the stories of all

A desire to gain freedom
To wrap my words around your body like a sweet caress
To have my words make love to your mind
To have my words connect to your spirit

It is my addiction that has no rehab
I overdose on the see of words
My constant feenin for my drug has me strung out
Eyes glazed, body twitching looking for my next score
It is not a want it is a need
I WANT TO WRITE

~ruthsbaby

Saturday, February 26, 2011

RHYTHM

And as you were listening to the Earth beat in you soul like drums on the Serengeti
My feet were planted in the sand of the atlantic wishing for the waves of knowledge and  love to wash over me and infuse my spirit
My heart drummed out a rhythm that I knew but did not know
Was it the same beat of your African drums?

You smile and my question is answered
No words are needed but you give voice to what I already know
As the Earth was beating in your soul you heard a new rhythm
It called to you softly and sweetly to the coolness of the water
An unfathomable desire to dip your hands in the calming waters and touch your dampened hands to your face
You felt my soul's rhythm pulsating through the waters.

That explains why the water gives me such solace
Because of you
When I was troubled I went to the water
When I was in need of protection I went to the water
When I was in need of comfort I went to the water
When I was happy I went to the water
Because in the water I found the spirit and heartbeat of my Warrior, my Love.

~ruthsbaby~

Friday, February 11, 2011

WHY BOTHER

Sometimes you just have to ask why bother?
Really why should you bother?
Why not let everything continue on the way it always has?
Why open yourself up to frustration and disappointment?
WHY?

Then it occurs to you WHY you bother.
You bother because you care.
You bother because you may open one person's eyes.
You bother because you have seen the past and want better for the future.
You bother because its ingrained in you.
You bother because you're on a mission that the ridicule, frustration and disappointment can't stop.
You bother because you want the best for the next generation.
You bother because you never give up.
rrruthsbabygirl

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

TONIGHT I CRY


Tears fall from my eyes. My heart aches. My mind is filled with confusion.
I am so angry because my voice is not loud enough to be heard over the cacophony of lies being spouted.
I feel so helpless.
I am supposed to be his help mate, but I have failed him.
My Black King is being mired down by a sea of negativity and I cannot erase it.
I feel defeated because I have not succeeded in showing the world his beauty and greatness.

He is brilliance personified. He shines with creativity and intelligence. His mind is incredible. He is always devising a plan to turn our goodness into our greatness.
He stands in the midst of his sons and daughters and they know they are truly loved and protected. They look up to him with eyes filled with love. They willingly and lovingly embrace his guidance.
He is strong, proud and confident. He walks with his head held high and with the knowledge of who God made him to be.

In his eyes I see my present and my future. He gazes at me with pure love. He sees beyond my outer appearence and looks into my soul. He sees me as God made me to be.
He is my mate. He is my protector. He is my lover.
He is my shield against a world that would rather see me beat down instead of lifted up.
He is my warrior when I feel overwhelmed and unsure.
He is my blanket when I need comfort and warmth.
He is my human handkerchief when tears spill from my eyes.
He is my support when I am weak.
He is my encourager when doubts plaque my mind,
He is my love.
He is my strong Black King.

And because I am his Queen I will not rest until the world sees him as I do.
Tonight I cry comforted in my loves arms.
Tomorrow I fight to bring him justice.
~ruthsbaby

Friday, January 28, 2011

FACELESS

I have never seen your face or heard your voice. If you walked next to me I would not know you. I only know your words. If ever you were close and you spoke the words that are intelligent, thought provoking, enticing, colorful and a song to my spirit I would instantly know it was you. ~ruthsbaby